Acceptable Sweatpant Attire

Ted Baker via ASOS

Ted Baker via ASOS

Okay okay I know, I know. “I will not let you wear sweatpants in public” but I make the rules around here so sit down. If you wanna wear sweatpants in public, they better look like these. This Ted Baker set is the kind of stuff I would roll around on the ground in a Barney’s getting emotional over. They’re so sick. the pattern is bold, throw a pair of black or nude pumps and your hair in a tight pony and that’s it. Don’t overcomplicate it because you will absolutely look kitschy and gross. Mark my words. And the pants aren’t actually sweats, just the top. JOKES ON YOU.

 

 

x, B.

Chambray, please.

Hello again, my little nuggets.

Credit: Design Darling

Credit: Design Darling

Chambray is perfect for summer. I mean perfect. Without further ado, and by “ado” I mean bullshit I don’t have time for, please see the first example. So technically that shirt looks like it might be just plain blue cotton, but pish posh just go with it here. A couple things- first the jeans are tight, a nice rich dark blue, and have a bit of texture in the rips that break up the steady stream of blue-ness. Next, the shirt is loose and a different shade of blue. Some people say they can pull of the whole matchy-denim thing. They’re lying, they should seek help. Too tight is an issue too, you don’t want all that camel-toe and four-boob cleav thing like a denim jumpsuit. That’s a no darling. A classic, pointy toe nude pump might be my favorite part of the outfit. Keep the jewelry, hair, and makeup simple and minimal and you’re golden. Not a yoga pant in sight! (In the fashion world some people with more money and product in their hair than I could ever imagine like to say “pant” instead of you know, pants. As if they are presenting you with a single magical pant-leg.)

Found on Pinterest

Found on Pinterest

Okay, second option. Black jeans with Chambray dresses it up a teeny bit but still keeps it casual enough for a summer weekend. Same rules apply, reasonably tight-fitting jeans with a looser fitting top, minimal jewelry and no-fuss hair. I love the pop of denim blue in the simple heel.

Still no yogasssssssssssssssssss yas bitch.

 

x, B.

Sunday sweatpants alternative

Hi! Enjoy some options, darlin’Sunday sweatpants alternative

Rails plaid button down shirt
shopthetrendboutique.com

Anine Bing destroyed denim jeans
$92 – shopmrsh.com

Tamara Mellon wrap sandals
tamaramellon.com

Giuseppe Zanotti high heel sandals
$610 – giuseppezanottidesign.com

Moschino purse
$915 – brownsfashion.com

Michael Kors bracelet jewelry
revolveclothing.com

Ray-Ban gradient sunglasses
bennettsclothing.com

Kenzo tech accessory
forwardforward.com

Tech accessory
etsy.com

NYX lipstick
nastygal.com

Haircare
etsy.com

Boardroom Boss

Boardroom Boss

Reed Krakoff abstract dress
$2,085 – thecorner.com

Gucci quartz watch
$2,130 – selfridges.com

CARAT* white gold stud earrings
$240 – harrods.com

Oval cut ring
cartier.com

Cat eye sunglasses
glassesusa.com

Nude lipstick
necessaryclothing.com

Tom ford fragrance
bloomingdales.com

Summer Sweatpants Alternative

Clap for her

Clap for her

Hi, love.

Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean sweatpants criminals aren’t reoffending. They schlep, in and out, with that same pair of frayed, beer-soaked sweats with a messy bun and giant aviators. Can we just talk about this outfit…

If you’re too lazy to put this together, I hope you have someone to wipe your ass for you too, because you’re definitely on that level. Okay, step by step, we have a crisp, white chiffon-y top with gold details. The loose shape keeps it from looking too fussy. Step 2- sparkly soft shorts. They’re S-O-F-T and comfortable so shut up. You can find a million versions of the shorts and shirt at H&M for under $50. Step 3- Basic clutch. This girl chose black, but anything is fine when the rest of the outfit is neutral. White/Tan snakeskin works well, too. Step 4- Throw on a watch, some bracelets and a cool necklace. Don’t forget sandals because bare feet is so Britney 2007.

That was easy and you don’t look like you crawled out of an episode of Bar Rescue, John Taffer included.

x, B.

All in

All in

Monki crop shirt
$11 – monki.com

Ponte knit blazer
bodycentral.com

Jane Norman floral pencil skirt
$60 – janenorman.co.uk

Michael michael kors handbag
$515 – luisaviaroma.com

Pearl Pear Collar
baublebar.com

Mac cosmetics lipstick
bloomingdales.com

Hoodrat Princess

Hoodrat Princess

Rails purple top
shopthetrendboutique.com

Monki crop shirt
$11 – monki.com

Paige Denim boyfriend jeans
matchesfashion.com

Brian Lichtenberg beanie hat
shopthetrendboutique.com

MAC Cosmetics lipstick
bloomingdales.com

Daily Sleazy Prom Dress Alternative

Bill Blass

Bill Blass

Hi, hello, whatever.

I’m back, yes. Sometimes it’s hard to write on here when you write for a living elsewhere but I’m back so calm down. Anyway, I hail from the land of too much makeup and not enough clothes. I somehow escaped relatively unscathed (with a few very notable exceptions) but some of the worst hometown offenses were definitely committed at the good ol’ high school prom.

It’s been a few years since I submitted myself through my last personal slice of hell/cherished memory we sometimes refer to as prom, but I look back on those pictures and thank God my mother is classy AF and steered me away from certain humiliation by way of a #tbt from that girl that you sort of talked to in high school but were also pretty sure she was 25…

It appears that prom dresses seem to get trapped in these categories:

  • Green, specifically vomit-hued. Usually a pretty good indicator of what it’s gonna smell like in a few hours.
  • Excessive cut-outs. Things we don’t want to see? EVERYTHING YOU CAN’T UNSEE THAT
  • Ridiculously short. Why? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY you’re underage. That little crease under your asscheeks shouldn’t come in contact with the seat of a hotel chair. BACTERIA
  • Nipple-exposing. Don’t tell me that’s not self-explanatory.
  • Neon+Leopard. Why don’t you just throw on those weird and totally useless sunglass things Kanye West used to wear before the cast of Jersey Shore quickly ruined them, as they do with everything they touch…

So, a couple little biddies were asking me if I had any suggestions for what to wear to prom. Honestly, absolutely anything you wear will eventually look hideously out of style, but you can avoid looking like a total douchebag. I’ve done some thinking, and this week I’ll feature one gown a day that would be socially acceptable for us over here at Fever Stitch. (Us? Me. just me. #foreveralone)

Today’s choice comes by way of contemporary modern designer Bill Blass. Really, it technically isn’t a gown at all. It’s two pieces- a crop top and a long, billowing skirt. If you’re going to do print, this is the tasteful way to do it. The resulting look is etherial and regal, while still showing off that skin that jailbait high schoolers just can’t get enough of. The long skirt moves so well and the silhouette is an updated, fresh take on classic lines.

Note to my little high school sweet things,

This is how you do print

This is how you do cut outs

and this is how you avoid frantically untagging in someone else’s #tbt

 

Please, put down the yoga pants. Do it now.

 

 

xo, B.

 

 

A Word About the H&M Wedding Dress…

Via Huffington Post

Via Huffington Post

Okay, I know I know… who would get married in sweats, whatever. The real point of this post is to give a shout out to H&M for creating a $99(!!) wedding dress. Before any of you dream-wedding-that-you-planned-on-Pinterest snobs point out that your wedding will absolutely fall apart if your dress is not custom made by Vera Wang herself, I need you to try reeeealllyy hard not to think about yourself for a second. Also, relax. Chances are, you’re not that big of a deal.

Anyway, we currently live in a wedding-obsessed society driven by consumerism and so on and so forth. TLC, Bravo and just about every other lifestyle TV station capitalizes on this with dream wedding shows, bridal gown shopping extravaganzas, and the personal bane of my mother’s existence, TLC’s “Four Weddings.” Who actually invites strangers to their most important day just to have them judge it on food, venue, dress, etc? Really, really insecure narcissists. 

In the real world, every girl (and guy) spends a variable amount of time thinking up their dream wedding, family and friends present. Truth is nobody really gives a shit about what color the roses were in your centerpiece, or how expensive that custom lighting was. Guests won’t remember how many ounces their steak was, or how many years of experience the bartender had. And, sorry, but nobody really cares how much you really spent on your wedding dress. Cry about it. Maybe, just maybe your guests will remember shedding a tear or two watching two people who could tolerate each other enough to get married.

How about you open your eyes and acknowledge that we live in a slowly recovering post-recession America and the average bride can’t afford a $10,000 dress. Perhaps she doesn’t want to lean on her family for thousands of dollars they don’t have. Perhaps the couple has other things to spend their hard earned money on. H&M made the right move offering this simple, sweet wedding dress for a fair price. And for all those naysayers criticizing the style of the gown– if you saw this exact dress on the runway at Monique Lhuillier, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference so do yourself a favor and swerve. I’m definitely hoping to see more styles produced at a bargain by H&M and I’m banking on other fast fashion retailers following their lead. When the dress takes a huge chunk of the financial burden off the budget, perhaps the happy couple can afford to get those adorable place markers you saw on Pinterest after all.

 

Click the picture to read the full Huffington Post article, darlin’.

 

xo, B.

 

Where Have I been?

Mark-Miller-Furs

Click to see the article

Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been busy working on a couple other projects, like this one:

But I’m back after a brief hiatus and I’m sure you all have gone back to wearing sweatpants tragedies so I have my work cut out for me.  The concept is simple, really. Take some pride in the way in which you present yourself to the world. Do you have to dress like editrix queen Anna Wintour? No, actually please do not attempt. Let’s just start with wearing a clean, wrinkle-free shirt today and no sweatpants and we’ll move on from there.

 

Be back soon.

xo, B.